I maj måned er der særlig fokus på mental sundhed. Det er en virkelig god start, og vi skal jo begynde et sted. Men som pårørende til et familiemedlem, der ikke har det godt, vil det fokus dog aldrig kunne koges ned til blot en måned. For pårørende er det hverdag, og oftest er det lidelsen der fylder mere end sundheden. Det er meget almindeligt, for det er lidelsen, fremtiden og spørgsmålet om, hvordan vi bedst hjælper, at en pårørendes bekymringer oftest kredser sig om.

Bekymringer er hjernens måde at forsøge at skabe ro og overblik over noget som føles alt andet end roligt og klart. Det er skruen uden ende, for den ene bekymringstanke bygger videre på den næste. Vi er på vagt og holder øje i samspil med en knugende fornemmelse i maven, en indre uro og anspændthed, der ikke vil slippe. Vi oplever det som hjælpsomt, at vi bekymrer os, for vi tror at det betyder, vi er på forkant, skulle en krise opstå, at vi ikke overser noget, skulle der være noget vi skal tage os af.

Det er ikke så mærkeligt eller ualmindeligt at pårørende bliver sygemeldt eller er i konstant alarmberedskab, for med et system under pres falder ansvaret ofte alene tilbage på den pårørende.

Dette er desværre ikke en nyhed, for sådan oplever langt de fleste af de pårørende, jeg har samtaler med deres hverdag. 

Nyheden for de pårørende jeg taler med er, at vi alle sammen har indre sundhed. En indre sundhed som hele tiden er lige bag det mentale - de foranderlige tanker og omskiftelige følelser. Vi mærker det som glimt af indre ro, et øjebliks klarhed, og med det, håb og muligheden for nye perspektiver.

Det mentale er som et orkester, der spiller i et væk, og fordi vi uskyldigt forføres af musikken - både det uhyggelige, det smukke og alt det midt imellem - overser vi at det er når vi selv har det godt, at vi er mest hjælpsomme og bedst kan navigere det uforudsete og det som er svært. Vi får mere hjælpsomme samtaler, er bedre til at lytte, og opstår en krise, så handler vi. 
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Mine erfaringer er, at når vi får øjnene op for, at vi allerede indholder, hvad vi har brug for til at navigere dette liv, har vi ikke længere en oplevelse af at miste fodfæste for vi står med fødderne solidt plantet på det fundament, vi hele tiden er. Vi giver ansvaret for vores velbefindende tilbage til os selv. 

Så hvordan kan du få øje på dit fundament? Du kan begynde at lægge mærke til:

• Hvad det gør ved dig, når du bekymrer dig.
• Tidspunkter hvor du har det godt.
• At roen fandt dig.

Drømmer du om at genfinde dit fundament - dit lyse sind, roen, klarhed og visdommen til at vide hvad der er rigtigt for dig? Så er et individuelt samtaleforløb måske lige noget for dig. Vi mødes online eller på mit kontor i Svendborg. Mange starter med at booke en enkelt samtale, og derefter købe et forløb. Det kan du nemt gøre her: https://www.lumeninspire.com/kontaktbook.html 

Photo by Matti Johnson on Unsplash

Every morning I enjoy reading the short chapter of the day in the book The Sacred Art of Listening and sitting in silence with what resonates right then and there.

Sometimes I feel moved to write, most often lately my experience feels more private.

I listen for guidance, perspective, a quiet feeling. I am not listning for what is next but to what is Now.

Deep listening, I have found, is love in action.

If I had to make steps out of it there would be three, and they would look something like this:

First, I feel the love I have for myself.

Second, I See the other person, genuinely wanting them to have everything their heart desires. I go from a great feeling of love for myself to feeling very generous towards the other person.

Third, I feel the heart to heart connection, the space in which reflection, vision, guidance, clarity and change thrives.

It’s very simple - There is only step one, and that is really not even a step. It's a feeling from which step two and three are natural by-products.

Have you paused for love today?
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Photo by Albrecht Fietz from Pixabay

An insight is accurate information arising from the quiet space within. Like puzzle pieces finding their perfect fit.

Listening for insight is listening for inner peace. Peace is not found in thinking. Peace is what happens as our thinking quiets down.

What if there were no goals to achieve or areas of life to divide up into segments? What if you knew you already lived the highest and brightest version of You, in all that you do?

Up until this moment you just didn’t know it.

We have a habit of dividing the areas of our life up into to segments in an attempt to create balance - family life, work life, me time, us time.

The list is endless - I know.

I’m a sucker for writing lists and attempting to put areas of my life onto a piece of paper and into a schedule of when to do what.

I’ve noticed it is my go-to thing that I do when I feel the most overwhelmed.

I do it to control. As if it is possible for me to control and make solid the fluidity of life itself.

I make those lists and schedules less and less nowadays.

I have become more sensitive to the subtle hints life gives me, that lets me know whether I’m mesmerised by the thoughts in my head or listening from my heart.

A few of the hints life gives me? Easily irritated or impatient with small things, like the zipper on my jacket not zipping the first time around. Breathing from my chest and not my belly.

Are you moving with the gentle flow of life or trying to control the current?
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Image by Alex Hu from Pixabay

Understanding is different from agreeing.

Listening for understanding is uncovering what we have in common, not whether we agree or disagree.

All human beings have in common that we think, and we each act on the thinking that we believe is true - our thinking feels true therefore it must be true, but believing something is true is very different from it being true.

All human beings are of the same fabric or energy as nature and the universe. Because we think we are separate we treat each other as separate, but in fact we are one. When we hurt others, we are hurting ourselves. When we truly love ourselves, we naturally love others.

All human beings are conscious. We are born with the awareness to Know that we think and who we are. At any giving moment the possibility of seeing this is present. 
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Photo by yue su on Unsplash

Do you feel a deep sense of peace and relaxation in conversation with others, or are you more concerned about what could happen if you share what shows up for you in the conversation?

What if you being yourself, and being loving and accepting, is what is most empowering to the person you are with?

For me, being myself meant discovering who I am. This meant me committing to look beyond the mental stories, the beliefs, I had innocently created about myself over time.

This is what I ask of my clients - for their commitment to look beyond who they think they are for the sake of discovering the essence of who they are.
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​Photo by Martin Sanchez on Unsplash

Have you heard your heart speak? Have you listened deeply from a state of appreciation, patience, silence and presence? 

I'm know you have heard your heart speak, and more than you realize.

When our heart speaks it comes with clarity and certainty - in combination a solid feeling of unwavering calm and Truth. Your Truth!

This, lets call it Knowing, is the felt experience right before the intellect gets involved - Chatting away with all the reasons of why and why not. And before we know it we have forgotten what we originally Knew.

Listen for what you Know.
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Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

​Today’s listening practice is about appreciation, and for me, today, that means authentically appreciating Me - all that I Know and who I am.

Believing the judgemental voice in our head to speak truth is the easiest thing in the world to do. We get lost in it all the time, forgetting in that moment, that it is always and only our own voice speaking.

It’s effortless, and yet the unsettling feelings that accompanies this voice is a form of resistance. An innate resistance letting us know that the thought-direction we are moving in, is not telling us the truth of who we are. The truth of who we are is something entirely different.

We are already Enough.

Sitting in the awareness of authentic appreciation brings me back to center. To right now. I fall out of judgmental thinking and into awareness of the moment. I feel my breath.
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I invite you to take a moment today to authentically appreciate You!
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Image by Mabel Amber, who will one day from Pixabay