There is tremendous power in hope. In fact it is a game changer in how we show up to ourselves and in the world. Hope is not the light at the end of the tunnel, but the light already shining brightly within the tunnel.
Today ask yourself “what am I grateful for?”
The question “what am I grateful for?” is not a question to be answered in intellekt by your personal mind.
For the purpose of this exercise I invite you to look within giving yourself the gift of stillness.
Stillness is not no-thinking or the avoidance of thinking.
Stillness is always present. Always there. Always available.
The ebb and flow of stillness is simply our awareness contrating and expanding.
With kindness and in your mind ask:
“what am I grateful for?”
Pause - Breathe - Be
Let what wants to show up show up.
I live an inspired life when I express beyond my intellect's assessment and analysis of what it says is allowed.
I live an inspired life when I move beyond my intellect's assessment and analysis of what it says I can and cannot do.
I live an inspired life when I listen beyond my intellect innocently believing it has my best at heart as it assesses the moment on the basis of a life already lived.
I live an inspired life the moments my heart is fully open. Because in that moment I am ready to hear.
I notice that my best decisions are made from clarity and inner quiet, a deeper knowing if you will.
From that space there is no decision to make but a meaningful and natural direction in which to move.
I notice time and time again that what is always holding me back from living the highest version of who I am is me innocently believing my personal thinking is Truth.
When in fact it can't be Truth. Truth is consistent. Truth is true 100% of the time all of the time. Whether I think I can or can't do something or who I think I am in any given moment is always changing, and therefor is not Truth.
The Truth - we are, by design, whole and intact. Like the sky. No matter the severity of the storm the sky remains clear and intact. The only thing that can take us away from knowing this? Innocently misunderstanding where our experience is coming from 100% of the time, every time.
What if decisions where made, not from what you think about, but from what occurs natural for you to do when you explore from an open mind and open heart?
The clearer we see who we are and our innate qualities as human beings the clearer we see it in others, and we naturally become more impactful and effective in serving the people in our community.
I'm often asked "so how do I do that?", "what are the tools?". My best how-to tool is simple "stay in the conversation, continue exploring and you may be surprised by what you see." We often turn, and sometimes we even run away from the conversation because we fear what will happen when we dare not be afraid of loosening the grip on what we think we know. That's human. All it means is that in those moments we listen not from an open mind and open heart but to the intellect/ego.
I've noticed that a lot of times when we listen to people struggling with the human experience we are quick to jump to conclusions, to give advice and let them know about all the ways in which they can fix, change or let go off what is being experienced. Regardless of whether the advice is to fix what's being felt on the inside or change what is outside of us that looks like it is causing the feelings on the inside.
All of it well-meaning, and I can't help but think that the motivation for the advice is an undiscovered belief that we as human beings are inherently broken and therefore in need of fixing, and that we as the ones struggling have to look for answers outside of us because we ourselves operate under an undiscovered belief that we are not Enough. That we do not already have within us the answers that will effortlessly remove the invisible mountain of our own hidden beliefs about who we are and what we can and can not do. That we are Enough.
Advice, no matter how well-meaning does nothing or very little for the person asking for or getting the advice. Why? Because only we ourselves Know what is meaningful for us to do (or not do).
The biggest, best and most impactful tools and how to's arise from the silent space within. The space in which thought is flowing freely.
My best advice is to give no-advice, but simply to Listen.
Yesterday I began John Wheeler's book Full Stop! The Gateway to Present Perfection. Speaking to our non-dual nature I laughed out loud when I read:
"Why would the sky look for itself in a mass of passing clouds? It would never imagine itself to be one among the number of clouds that happen to be appearing, saying, ‘That particular cloud is me’."
I laughed because in that instant I saw an image, an insight if you will, of me pointing to my own passing thought-clouds saying "This is me. This is me. No this is me. This is me."
I can fool around with my thinking for better or for worse believing each thought to be telling me the truth about who I am and what is possible. This is called being human.
And then I read something like this and I start laughing because I remember I am the awareness aware of thinking.
There is tremendous power in hope. It is a game changer in how we show up to and in the world. Hope is not the light at the end of the tunnel, but the light already shining brightly within the tunnel.
Today I feel moved to share with you a quote from psychiatrist Dr. Bill Pettit. My husband first heard this quote a couple of years ago on Dr. Pettit's The Real Change live podcast series. My husband always reads it to me when he knows I am on my way down the rabbit hole of less than helpful thinking, gently pointing me back to wellbeing. My hope is you will read it, continue to read it, and share it with others.
So much of our thinking is on the Corona virus and the ramifications of its existence in this world - physical distancing, uncertainty about the future, our livelihood, the physical and mental wellbeing of ourselves and loved ones, and at times whether we should be worried or not. It can feel like we are desperately trying to control or keep a rollercoaster ride in check.
Like all humans I experience times when my outlook feels dark and hopeless, and other times it feels bright and hopeful. It feels much like moving up and down levels in an elevator. I spend time in the basement feeling all sorts of less-than feelings (less than hopeful, happy, calm, loving, patient...) and I see only what is not possible. I naturally move up a few or several levels, and I feel brighter, lighter, happier, more hopeful and compassionate, and I see only what is possible. I move down levels, and up again, and so on and so forth. It is how we are designed to work.
I don't always see that is what is happening so an obvious tell-sign that I am well on my way down the rabbit hole of less-than helpful thinking are the deep and apparently loud sighs I make as my body naturally releases the tension created by my thinking.
When my husband has been on the receiving end of these sighs for long enough to hear they are not becoming less but deeper he always asks "do you want me to read something to you that helps me?". I always respond "yes please" well aware of what exactly it is he will read.
My hope is that you will hear something resonating within you in such a way that hope arise to the surface brightening up your experience.
This is the quote heard on the Real Change podcast series from psychiatrist Dr. Bill Pettit.
"Listen, this is not rocket science. Sometimes you're in your right mind, and sometimes you're not. And your right mind is your home, but you can think yourself away from it.
Now when you're there (away) and you want to get back home, it's really quite simple.
Number one, when you're not there you're not very smart, so keep your mouth shut.
Number two, keep your hands to yourself. Don't throw anything, don't hit anything, or anybody.
Number three, leave your thinking alone until you feel better. Don't try do do anything with it, don't try to think positive, don't try to get rid of the feeling/thoughts, don't try to distract yourself. Just leave it the hell alone as best you can." Dr. Bill Pettit.
How lovely is that.
I highly recommend that you check out and scroll down on this page to watch and listen to Dr. Pettit and his wife psychologist Dr. Linda Pettit beautifully pointing us towards health and wellbeing.
There is this light that shines so brightly it lights up every nook and cranny of your being.
The darkness you feel is you innocently believing your thinking. Thoughts like a shadow-blanket, a veil if you will looking, feeling and sounding so real you smell and taste it. You innocently believing your experience is telling you about who you are, what you can and can not accomplish in life, that you should be more, do more, live better. When in truth you are enough!
Your heart lies intact and pure only momentarily covered with specks of dust. You are not broken. You only think you are. Your light shines brightly the rays like prisms revealing your true colors. I see your heart and I feel the truth of it in my own. Do you know this light? Do you know this essence and truth of who you are?
Today is the shortest day and longest night of the year. Around the globe many cultures celebrate this turning point from darkness to light. It is Winter Solstice.
Especially this time of year I sense a beautiful expansive stillness emanating from within nature.
As we pause for a moment allowing our intellects a rest from the mental and forever changing chitter-chatter of our busy minds we see that this deeper stillness is a perfect reflection of who we truly are.
In stillness there lies a deeper Knowing easily forgotten when we innocently live our lives from within the self-made confines of our personal thinking.
In the darkest of darks there is always light. As we pause and all else falls away we see that we are that which lights up the world.
Perhaps it is time we stop talking and start listening.
(Winter Solstice: US Dec. 21. / DK Dec. 22.)
As coach, therapist, and human being I have made it my mission and purpose in life to point people towards greater understanding of and insight into what we think defines us, inquiring into what is always possible regardless of outside influences and circumstances, body conditions and limitations, and the inner thought-worlds we may find ourselves in. I am inspired to speak to our ability of taking positive action, when we believe labels say anything about who we are and what we can or can not do.
Limiting beliefs are labels we believe to be true. Our belief in them holds us back from moving onward and forward in a new and more helpful life direction. But, when we show up open to at least explore who we are, beyond what our thinking may be telling us, we begin to see so much more about what we have going for us. As we see more more of the labels fall away without effort.
One, among many, of the labels I still believe to be true is "I'm not a mathperson", "I am not good with numbers".... Imagine how that plays out when I have to do my taxes. Not pretty, but thankfully my husband is patient, calm, and most importantly he knows to not engage but how to disengage respectfully from the conversation. This in turn allowing me to return to my natural state of quiet much quicker. (Hmm, perhaps I'll write more on disengaging with respect from another persons bad mood in another blogpost)
When we believe the labels to be true we innocently limit our expression of who we truly are, and can leave us with feelings of powerlessness, hopelessness, and resignation to move forward in life. When we are open to seeing something deeper about Life and our shared human nature, in essence seeing beyond the labels, space is created and the labels dissipate without effort. The more we see the more hopeful we feel.
In my work as a coach Hope is an essential piece in moving towards healthier life choices. When we experience hopelessness we feel powerless, and we move away from Life.
But the moment when we experience feelings of hopefulness we begin taking action towards Life. We intuitively know what is in our best interest.
So who am I to talk to you about labels you might ask. Besides the numerous labels that still innocently define me I am what the medical profession call a Zebra.
'When you hear hoof beats, think of horses, not zebreas.' An "aphorism coined in the late 1940's by Dr. Theodore Woodward, professor at the University of Maryland School of Medicine" (Wikipedia), teaching medical students to look for what is common while keeping mindful not to rule out something rare.
My zebra-condition is chronic and it is rare. Essentially and in short my immunesystem is non-existent except for the immunoglobulin injections I give myself once a week, and have been doing since January 2012. The immunoligists suspect I was born with the IgA deficiency as it is genetic. Although they know a lot about the complexities of the immunesystem, in actuality they only know very little in comparison to what there is to know. No one knows why I am without the other Ig's (IgG, IgM, IgD and IgE) and MBL, but I do love the simple explanation I was given - it is as if someone flipped the light switch to off.
At somepoint someone will have an insight into how to flip the switch back on.
My story of going from not-knowing to knowing I was a Zebra is long and winding, but I will speak to the emotions which besides feeling like a rollercoaster ride played an essential part in how I experienced this circumstance. I felt a complicated mix of feelings ranging from despair, worry, sadness, and fear intertwined with an underlying stilness and true Knowing of being okay and whole regardless of my body and the emotional ups-and-downs created by Thought in the moment.
I noticed that when I believed my feelings were telling me about what I should or should not do, what I had going for me or not, I was less likely to take positive action. I also noticed that when I made decisions and moved from the place of stilness and quiet always there it was not only more clear to me what was in my best interest, I was also more likely to act on it.
It is not outer circumstances, others, our bodies or feelings that hold us back from experiencing and living a loving, content, joyful, and successful life but the innocent misunderstanding that it is so.
I will end this by sharing with you one of my favourite quotes. This one from Sydney Banks:
"Every human being is sitting in the middle of mental health -
they just don't know it."
Just like the doctors and immunologists have so much more to discover about the workings of our physical body I too have much more to see and understand about our shared human nature.
I feel continuously and immensely grateful for what I have seen thus far, and for the opportunities to share my experiences with others and listen to others tell their story.
If you feel moved to work with me you are more than welcome. The beauty of technology, email or Zoom, opens for insightful conversations with people from all parts of the world.
Read more about working with me -
Me in a nutshell
I am, for the most part, happy mom for two amazing teens, wife to my wonderful and supportive husband, acting CEO of our small household, owner of Lumen, Mental Health Educator, essential oil enthusiast, and best of all I am me.