The clearer we see who we are and our innate qualities as human beings the clearer we see it in others, and we naturally become more impactful and effective in serving the people in our community.
I'm often asked "so how do I do that?", "what are the tools?". My best how-to tool is simple "stay in the conversation, continue exploring and you may be surprised by what you see." We often turn, and sometimes we even run away from the conversation because we fear what will happen when we dare not be afraid of loosening the grip on what we think we know. That's human. All it means is that in those moments we listen not from an open mind and open heart but to the intellect/ego.
I've noticed that a lot of times when we listen to people struggling with the human experience we are quick to jump to conclusions, to give advice and let them know about all the ways in which they can fix, change or let go off what is being experienced. Regardless of whether the advice is to fix what's being felt on the inside or change what is outside of us that looks like it is causing the feelings on the inside.
All of it well-meaning, and I can't help but think that the motivation for the advice is an undiscovered belief that we as human beings are inherently broken and therefore in need of fixing, and that we as the ones struggling have to look for answers outside of us because we ourselves operate under an undiscovered belief that we are not Enough. That we do not already have within us the answers that will effortlessly remove the invisible mountain of our own hidden beliefs about who we are and what we can and can not do. That we are Enough.
Advice, no matter how well-meaning does nothing or very little for the person asking for or getting the advice. Why? Because only we ourselves Know what is meaningful for us to do (or not do).
The biggest, best and most impactful tools and how to's arise from the silent space within. The space in which thought is flowing freely.
My best advice is to give no-advice, but simply to Listen.
In this video I explore not what we are listening with but where we are listening from, and the pointers letting us know when we are off in our own mind vs. listening from an open mind and an open heart.
As always I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below. How do you know where you are listening from?
Yesterday I began John Wheeler's book Full Stop! The Gateway to Present Perfection. Speaking to our non-dual nature I laughed out loud when I read:
"Why would the sky look for itself in a mass of passing clouds? It would never imagine itself to be one among the number of clouds that happen to be appearing, saying, ‘That particular cloud is me’."
I laughed because in that instant I saw an image, an insight if you will, of me pointing to my own passing thought-clouds saying "This is me. This is me. No this is me. This is me."
I can fool around with my thinking for better or for worse believing each thought to be telling me the truth about who I am and what is possible. This is called being human.
And then I read something like this and I start laughing because I remember I am what is aware of thinking.
Jeg kom til at tœnke på denne sœtning af psykolog Dr. Keith Blevens - "Fremtiden er en indkomplet ligning, fordi du kan aldrig tage højde for hvillken tœnkning, der vil komme til dig i Nu'et."
For mig betyder det:
1) jeg kan kun vide, hvad jeg ved lige nu, altså the facts. Alt andet er tolkning. 2) Hvad jeg føler, er blot et spejlbillede af min tœnkning i Nu'et 3) Jeg kan, og heldigvis for det, aldrig forudsige, hvilke tanker der opstår af Nu'et i fremtiden.
Nu'et er abstrakt. Det er uden form. I det øjeblik jeg rœkker ud efter Nu'et for at mœrke, forstå, kende det, slipper det som fint sand mellem mine fingre. Men jeg kan let fornemme det i større og mindre grad.
For mig er oplevelsen af Nu'et i Nu'et som falder jeg ind i en uendelige og altomfavnende stilhed, hvori jeg kœrligt guides af livets blide strøm. Herfra ved jeg, jeg er Nok og jeg har, hvad jeg har brug for.
Alt andet fortœller mig blot, at jeg i øjeblikket uskyldigt tror, svaret på hvem jeg er ligger et andet sted.
Hvem er du i Nu'et?
There is tremendous power in hope. It is a game changer in how we show up to and in the world. Hope is not the light at the end of the tunnel, but the light already shining brightly within the tunnel.
Today I feel moved to share with you a quote from psychiatrist Dr. Bill Pettit. My husband first heard this quote a couple of years ago on Dr. Pettit's The Real Change live podcast series. My husband always reads it to me when he knows I am on my way down the rabbit hole of less than helpful thinking, gently pointing me back to wellbeing. My hope is you will read it, continue to read it, and share it with others.
So much of our thinking is on the Corona virus and the ramifications of its existence in this world - physical distancing, uncertainty about the future, our livelihood, the physical and mental wellbeing of ourselves and loved ones, and at times whether we should be worried or not. It can feel like we are desperately trying to control or keep a rollercoaster ride in check.
Like all humans I experience times when my outlook feels dark and hopeless, and other times it feels bright and hopeful. It feels much like moving up and down levels in an elevator. I spend time in the basement feeling all sorts of less-than feelings (less than hopeful, happy, calm, loving, patient...) and I see only what is not possible. I naturally move up a few or several levels, and I feel brighter, lighter, happier, more hopeful and compassionate, and I see only what is possible. I move down levels, and up again, and so on and so forth. It is how we are designed to work.
I don't always see that is what is happening so an obvious tell-sign that I am well on my way down the rabbit hole of less-than helpful thinking are the deep and apparently loud sighs I make as my body naturally releases the tension created by my thinking.
When my husband has been on the receiving end of these sighs for long enough to hear they are not becoming less but deeper he always asks "do you want me to read something to you that helps me?". I always respond "yes please" well aware of what exactly it is he will read.
My hope is that you will hear something resonating within you in such a way that hope arise to the surface brightening up your experience.
This is the quote heard on the Real Change podcast series from psychiatrist Dr. Bill Pettit.
"Listen, this is not rocket science. Sometimes you're in your right mind, and sometimes you're not. And your right mind is your home, but you can think yourself away from it.
Now when you're there (away) and you want to get back home, it's really quite simple.
Number one, when you're not there you're not very smart, so keep your mouth shut.
Number two, keep your hands to yourself. Don't throw anything, don't hit anything, or anybody.
Number three, leave your thinking alone until you feel better. Don't try do do anything with it, don't try to think positive, don't try to get rid of the feeling/thoughts, don't try to distract yourself. Just leave it the hell alone as best you can." Dr. Bill Pettit.
How lovely is that.
I highly recommend that you check out and scroll down on this page to watch and listen to Dr. Pettit and his wife psychologist Dr. Linda Pettit beautifully pointing us towards health and wellbeing.
Jeg fik pludselig helt lyst til at lave yoga, gå en tur (det har jeg nu gjort hver dag), spise sundt, stå på hovedet, gøre rent og alt muligt andet....Vil jeg gøre alt det og mere til? Nej.
Gaven ligger i oplevelsen af, at i Nu'et, uanset om vi føler utålmodig, usikkerhed, glœde, kœrlighed m.fl. er vores:
Når vi får en personlig oplevelse af, at det er sådan vi fungere som mennesker, er tendensen:
Det ligger i vores menneskelige design - resilience og kœrlighed - Dét er, hvem vi er, og ro i sindet er, hvad som opstår, når vi oplever, at det er Sandt.
There is this light that shines so brightly it lights up every nook and cranny of your being.
The darkness you feel is you innocently believing your thinking. Thoughts like a shadow-blanket, a veil if you will looking, feeling and sounding so real you smell and taste it. You innocently believing your experience is telling you about who you are, what you can and can not accomplish in life, that you should be more, do more, live better. When in truth you are enough!
Your heart lies intact and pure only momentarily covered with specks of dust. You are not broken. You only think you are. Your light shines brightly the rays like prisms revealing your true colors. I see your heart and I feel the truth of it in my own. Do you know this light? Do you know this essence and truth of who you are?
I denne weekend blev jeg indviet i Reiki 1. Det var et lœrerigt og personligt kursus, og for mig en helt sœrlig oplevelse.
Som du måske ved betyder Rei Universel Visdom og Ki er Livets Kraft. I januar sidste år havde jeg en dyb personlig oplevelse af at vœre fuldt tilstede i denne universelle, alt omfavnede og kœrlige livsenergi og visdom, som hele tiden og altid lever og guider os.
Dette kursus var for mig en slags vidergående uddannelse af min allerede eksisterende viden om du vil, og helt sœrligt var det at opdage at kunne have fuld tillid til det følte og sete, og at kunne kanalisere denne intuition og visdom til gavn for et andet menneske.
Jeg føler dyb taknemmelighed for denne oplevelse, og glœdes over også at kunne bringe dette aspekt, denne indsigt med mig ind i min coaching og stilhedsretreats. 💞
Today is the shortest day and longest night of the year. Around the globe many cultures celebrate this turning point from darkness to light. It is Winter Solstice.
Especially this time of year I sense a beautiful expansive stillness emanating from within nature.
As we pause for a moment allowing our intellects a rest from the mental and forever changing chitter-chatter of our busy minds we see that this deeper stillness is a perfect reflection of who we truly are.
In stillness there lies a deeper Knowing easily forgotten when we innocently live our lives from within the self-made confines of our personal thinking.
In the darkest of darks there is always light. As we pause and all else falls away we see that we are that which lights up the world.
Perhaps it is time we stop talking and start listening.
(Winter Solstice: US Dec. 21. / DK Dec. 22.)
Me in a nutshell
I am, for the most part, happy mom for two amazing teens, wife to my wonderful and supportive husband, acting CEO of our small household, owner of Lumen, Three Principles coach and facilitator, therapist, essential oil enthusiast, and best of all I am me. I write about the things I do because I think they are fun og exciting to dive into, and because I love the transformational work pointing others to look in the direction of their spiritual nature and the experience of their life-essence. Som posts are written in Danish and others in English.